Gail,
The "Database" or "MySQL" section of your "Control Panel" (where you set up email accounts, etc. on your hosted accounts should have a link to "PhpMyAdmin", "Database Manager", or similar. Here you can select your ListMail database and run a custom query. Of course, the Web-based PHP->MySQL interface is a tad confusing.. If you'd rather avoid it keep reading..
I've got a secret for you. Simply login to ListMail and go to the Config page. Add the following variable to the Address URL &customcmd=1 and hit enter. You'll be presented with a text box where you can enter a custom MySQL query.
If you want to do what you asked on list 5 with a delay of 0 here's the query:
update lm_users set cseq = '9', cdel = '0' where cseq = '11' and list = '5'
Regards